Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Dealing with death

Last week was an unusual time for me. My oldest brother died. On many levels I was prepared.
He had cancer and the prospects did not look good. Last Monday I was told that he would leave the hospital and move to skilled nursing/hospice, but he would not hold through January. About six weeks! He died the next day.

I know that people deal with death differently. My middle brother, who flew in from Florida, is in one camp. He is scared of death, he hates funerals and his emotions cause him to be one irritating person to be around.

My Mother deals with it from a different angle. Since she did not approve of the church that my deceased brother was a member, we had to have the service at the funeral home! I know that in her heart she is worried that he is not in heaven. Because of these thoughts she did not participate with my brother's family at the wake.

I blogged about my tangle with these two, but I am proud to report that they "played nice" the day of the funeral. As soon as the service ended, my brother skipped out and headed to the airport.

No, I am not proud of their actions, but they are family. We will survive.

I will say that getting the opportunity to speak at Bob's funeral was good for me. I got to focus totally on his memory and not the current irritation. I told of the big brother that I watched grow up. I talked of his teen age years, his work, his hobbies and his influence. Those are the memories that I will cherish.

I am on record about one thing though: I have previously (before this episode) told my mother that I will speak at her funeral so that I can apologize to the audience for things she has probably said to them. He response: "I don't care what you say because I won't be there!"

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