I was raised in a town that did not believe in much. No drinking. No dances (There were no school sanctioned dances, proms, etc.), Smoking was frowned on but most guys did it. (No girls smoked, except sluts, sorry, just the writer) There was a pool hall, but I was threatened within an inch of my life and did not enter until college days and then only to find a friend. I never had the urge to smoke and never have (not one). In high school I was offered beer, tried it did not like it and stayed with Pepsi. This, of course, made me the designated driver for many a time. I was glad because I was in control. I was always ok in my skin and never felt pressure even though all my friends liked to drink beer and other things. I was taught that drinking was wrong and the Bible said it was wrong and if you do, the next thing you know you will be dancing! I kept that to myself, and kept my friends.
Funny thing though, in my senior year I was elected class president, and later the Jaycees formed a Teen Club to help us manage our free time and asked me to be president of that too. Here is the crazy part. The only thing we did was host "a dance" a couple of Saturday nights a month at the Community Building! I took money at the door! I learned how to do the "twist" in a lame way, but gave my all to the slow dancing where I just stepped on the girl's toes a lot . Our local rock band "The Zebras" (two white guys/two black guys) played each dance. And for a brief moment I almost decided to take lessons to play the electric bass which is the cool instrument!
I made it through college the same way and I was 30 before I fell off the wagon (so to speak).
We were with some friends (from church no less) on a trip to Dallas and we went to a Chili's. Liquor by the Drink was not in Oklahoma so no Chili's. They suggested a margarita. I'm thinking, if its like beer I'm not interested. By George, it wasn't! It was then and there that I decided to consult my Bible when I got home for a loop hole! This was good!
In the years since I have consulted my Bible and saw once and for all that the Bible does not talk against drinking, it is against being irresponsible. It is about not influencing kids or others to do something that they may not want, desire, or believe in. It is about not abusing things and becoming a drunkard. It is not about drinking a glass of wine, margarita or beer. I say that but I have always been careful. I did not want to broadcast my thoughts. No drinking around the kids, my mother (Lord No!) or anyone who knows me. The Fifty Mile rule!(and then I survey the room real close and go booth by booth to see if I know any one. When I was an elder (100 mile rule!) See no one knows. (FYI: If you are hearing this for the first time, it isn't the truth and I would never do such a thing! Who do you take me for?)
Ok, where was I?
I drink probably 4 or 6 or 8 margaritas a year. So I am not exactly an alcoholic, though I am taking way more trips that are over 100 miles from home (if you get my drift).
This leads me back to Vegas and the short story.
After the ACM awards which stared at 7:00pm Oklahoma time but 5:00pm Vegas time, we decided to have dinner. Since Toby Keith had performed live, I surmised that maybe he might show up at "I Love This Bar & Grille" his restaurant in Harrah's. So we took the monorail back to Harrah's where the car was parked and went in to Toby's. Ordered some TexMex and decided hey what the heck, the waitress took our drink orders and I ordered a Diet Coke and a Margarita on the Rocks (Frozen ones give me brain freezes!). She brings the diet coke first in a large Kerr Mason Jar (just like in the song). It is about 24 ounces or more. No need for many refills! The later she brings the margarita in an identical jar filled to the brim! I'm thinking wow that is probably watered down. No one would make one that big! I was wrong. About half way through the meal I was having out of body experiences and by the time I stopped eating the shrimp (the glass was 7/8 finished), I'm thinking, I bet I can't walk! I look at Carol and say, "I don't think we are leaving for a while." She described my face as very, very red. But I was happy! I guess I'm a happy drunk! I did have the sense to listen to the music for a while (not Toby, he came the night before!) but I didn't have the sense to only drink a little of the salted edge concoction. We decided to leave and go down stairs and I asked her to walk real slow and I would follow. Then I watched myself walk out.
I learned two good lessons. 1. Stick to one or the equivalent of one when out. 2. Toby charges $15.00 for those things. So when Toby opens in Catoosa, it probably fits the 50 mile rule, but watch out for the jars!
I hope this story does not offend but if it does, you had better break out that Bible.
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