Funerals

I am entering the age when I go to more funerals than I like. Especially lately.

Last year one of my school classmates died suddenly. We were best friends from elementary thru high school. He was devout Catholic and I went to his Mass. If I was better educated, I would have gone to his wake the night before, but being uninformed i didn't find out about it until the funeral. His funeral, as you may know, was actually Holy Communion in Latin. The event had very little to do with him and every thing to do with the Clergy. Lasting 2 hours, I felt that Mike Nesser finally got back at me for high school. Back when he couldn't eat meat on Friday, he would buy a hamburger at Murphy's Dairy Mart after the football game and then hold it until midnight. He would keep asking what time it was, and I normally lied to him and told him it was midnight when it was about 11:45!

Today, I went to a funeral at a Episcopal Church for a great guy who was my insurance agent.
This is also "High Church" with many recitals and audience responses. The prayers are written in the program and nothing is spontaneous. It was a nice service though. And ranks ahead of Catholic masses in my list of best funerals. It also is ahead of a couple of Baptist and Assembly of God funerals that I attended in the last couple of years. these are the ones where about four "friends" get up to tell stories about the decease, but are really about themselves. The message is usually, "See I was the better friend." It is another case of "Private jokes in public places."

Of course these funerals are better than when the pastor takes over and decides to convert every last person in the audience, complete with altar call.

I like the funerals where the person's life is actually celebrated. Where it brings out the best memories of the person.

I know that when mine comes around, I want people to be talking about it for days. "Almost like I wish he had gone sooner, that was cool!" I'm talking about a quick slide show of the buildings I have done (The last power point) not long, maybe while people are being seated. Then some live music (with instruments!). Then a little talk. Then a slide show of my life with music from the Beach Boys to Beatles to Willie to whatever. Then it turns to family for most of the time slides and James Taylor, Vince Gill and Brad Paisley. The preacher can talk about heaven only if Brad Paisley is played. Give the 23rd psalm. Everybody gets a Pepsi or Diet Pepsi and one of Carol's chocolate chip cookies. Burnt Ribs for the family meal. See- they don't have to be so stuffy!

The best thing about funerals is that those in the place of honor aren't there! They are having fun.

That reminds me of the last group, the Frisbiterians: They believe that when they die, their soul goes up on the roof and can't get down.